You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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