are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
