theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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