so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
