How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Randomize
