I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
There r osticjed everywhere
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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