there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
