a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
