She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I need to align my fucking chakras
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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