So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
