Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
