OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
