Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
