I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
