i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
