so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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