Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
