I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize