well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
MIDGETS
????
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
