I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
