she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
