...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
