im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
