New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
