just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize