I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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