I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
