We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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