At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
