Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
