Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
