im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize