Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
