remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Randomize
