THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
