Pants 0. Shit 1.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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