Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
