SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
