Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
