Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
