I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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