If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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