I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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