Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
