Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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