Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
