He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
