420 ftw
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
