3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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