Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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