Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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