I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
