Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
