girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
