ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
