And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
