I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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