Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
