I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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