dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
