There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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