HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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