Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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