whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
