rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
