there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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